How can you understand me when I don’t understand myself?
I’m tired of living, but scared of dying
Even in my dreams
People think they know me, but never really do.
Death is one thing, but self-harming is another
It’s not that I want to die, it’s trying to survive
But the pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body.
But I’m just trying to get through without falling
What’s the point in screaming? It’s not like anybody’s listening
I bleed just to know I’m alive, then I cry because I can’t tell the truth.
Then I cut again just to help my pain
I’m trying to hold this life until it’s through.
Self-harming is not for attention or for what you think
You won’t understand the pain I go through
The scars are for fights we have had with ourselves
But we have lost so well.
In a scarlet puddle I cry out my tears
Of the hurt that I’ve hid for years.
So why do you have the right
To cause me this pain tonight?
by Vicky Harris